Go GW, Beat Vandy

So it's NCAA Tournament time, and GW gets Vandy in a first round matchup. The game is in Sacramento and is scheduled for the East Coast local/national news "chasm"---the time when CBS affiliates switch over to news following the afternoon session. People on the West Coast---say, in Sacramento---are still playing during this time; it's their afternoon session, of course. But unless there's an East Coast team of local significance playing at that time, the news preempts basketball coverage. It so happens WUSA will carry the GW-Vandy game. I'm in Richmond, however, so I'm out of luck. I'll get the award-winning CBS 6 News at Six, though maybe I'll get to see some of the first half (the game starts at 5:00 pm ET) if I'm out of work by then.

There's also that March Madness on Demand thing, which would require knowledge of the internets . . .

As for the game, it's a 6/11 matchup, with Vandy being the six. On this basis, I give Vandy a 65% shot at winning. I'd say there's a 10% chance it's very close, a 10% chance it's a blowout, and a 45% chance it's one of those tepid games that gets prolonged to tedium once the trailing team becomes forced to foul near the end. Say, 74-66 Vandy.

I wish, however, to focus on the remaining 35% -- Vandy, you suck. You're some prissy school from some town that calls it the "Athens of the South." Guess what? There's only one Athens, and it sure as hell ain't anywhere near Tennessee. (Or Georgia. Or Ohio.) The only good thing to come out of Vandy was Grantland Rice, a pretty keen sportswriter in his day, but he's been dead half-a-century now and his flourishy writing style probably inspired the late career Boswellian nutty, florid ramblings to some extent. Thanks a lot.

Other than that, whaddya got? You call yourselves the Commodores. Commodores. Lame. Did another school already take Collecovisions? I had a Commodore 64 when I was a kid, and I'm always like two decades behind the technological times. And what's with that stupid-ass basketball arena with the benches behind the goals? It's the basketball court equivalent of the kid who thinks he's cool by wearing his backpack over one shoulder . . . or two shoulders, I forget which. Bottom line is, that facility looks dumb. That's the only time I've ever sympathized with Pat Kennedy.

As for the team, Derrick Byars? Derrick Byars. He stunk at UVa. Just stunk. Everyone Pete Gillen ever coached stunk. Byars was no exception. You expect me to believe he became a good player just because Gillen wasn't coaching him any longer? Okay, I could believe that, but I prefer to believe the SEC just sucks.

And so does Vandy. See ya, Commodores.

Thirty-five percent certain.