Game 160: You just KNEW Slaten would blow it.

by Doghouse on Sep 28, 2011 8:12 AM EDT

Tough luck (again): John Lannan (+3.8%) is steady enough through 6 IP, giving up 2 ER with 4 Ks and 3 BBs, although he can only blame himself for giving up a tying run on a WP (-15.9%).
Thirty-plus! Michael Morse (+1.2%) belts a game-tying solo shot in the 5th (+14.0%).
Predictable: Doug Slaten (-36.2%) gets two outs into the ninth, almost giving up a game-losing dinger before... giving up a game-losing dinger (-46.4%).
Sprinting = winning: Todd Coffey (+10.7%) works around a leadoff hit to keep the game tied in a scoreless inning of relief work.

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the Worm Ourobouros

Slaten Slaten’ed Slaten.
Hopefully the last time any of us have to type that name when it’s not tied with “DFA’d”, “non-tendered”, or “traded”.
Sigh. Dick Van Dyke will not visit the Mistake in Miami.

Brain: "Pinky, are you pondering what i'm pondering?"
Pinky: "Yes, ... wait, ... no, ... never mind"

by jbg2772 on Sep 28, 2011 9:52 AM EDT reply actions

Have to ask why Slaten was brought in

I mean, supposedly a lot of the guys on the team actually wanted to finish over .500. Why wouldn’t the coach try, then, to achieve that? Putting Slaten in is the exact opposite of trying to win. Did they really want to not be in the top 15 MLB records, for purposes discussed yesterday by dc guy (that is, so they could have a protected pick)? Sort of hard to believe that. Did Davey actually think Slaten was the best choice? If so, I am worried about Davey as manager going forward. Did Davey think it was necessary to show management another Slaten FAIL to ensure the guy’s not on the team next year? That may be the most likely reason for bringing him in, as hard as it is for most of us to believe that the book hasn’t already been written in toto on Slaten.

Anyway, I’m with you, jbg2772 – looking forward to not talking about Slaten in 2012.

If you don't eat your meat, you can't have any pudding! How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat?!

by ricksnats on Sep 28, 2011 9:59 AM EDT reply actions

Eleanor looked up from the table, saw HWMNBN, and said:

“Is that Slaten? He’ll lose the game! WHY?!?!”

by d_c_guy on Sep 28, 2011 10:14 AM EDT reply actions

Raise your hand if your first thought upon seeing HWMNBN was "there goes .500!"

If you don't eat your meat, you can't have any pudding! How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat?!

by ricksnats on Sep 28, 2011 10:22 AM EDT up reply actions

And there went my sanity

First I bellowed NO! Then I flung open the window, and I was half-way out before I remembered my office is on the first floor.

What in the PLUPERFECT HELL was our baseball geenyus manager thinking? The first-stringers need a rest, so they’ll be fresh for next February?

To add insult to injury, we had just been treated to this long, panning camera shot of the bullpen. All that talent out there, all those top relievers – Sean, Drew, Clipp, Lightning Rod, and lesser luminaries such as Stammen and Maya – all ready and available, all intently watching the game…

Then, from behind the clouds, out of the night, the genius of Davey Jones strikes. Last seen lifting Strasburg for Balesturd after four innings (cue the trumpets), now, in the the bottom of the 9th of a hard-fought tie game, Davey hands the ball to Doug (“Nightmare”) Slaten, the walking catastrophe.

We believed in .500. Hell, we had it, or so we thought.

“This is very cruel, Oskar. You’re giving them hope. You shouldn’t do that. That’s cruel!”

"On my tombstone just write, 'The sorest loser that ever lived.'" - Earl Weaver

by Whupass on Sep 28, 2011 11:26 AM EDT up reply actions

Wow, a Schindler's List reference

You know it’s gotta be bad if you’re quoting holocaust movies.

Hey, off-topic, but pretty damn funny anyway: you mention the panning camera shot of the bullpen. Did you see the look on Burnett’s face, esp. as compared to the rest of the guys? He looked like he’d just had a lobotomy. Especially the way Bob and FP were talking up all the guys, his expression was PRICELESS. My son put that portion of the video on his phone. Heck, even my wife (not a bb fan) laughed!

If you don't eat your meat, you can't have any pudding! How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat?!

by ricksnats on Sep 28, 2011 12:24 PM EDT up reply actions

He did have a lobotomy

Made him mean, and greatly improved his slider.

"On my tombstone just write, 'The sorest loser that ever lived.'" - Earl Weaver

by Whupass on Sep 28, 2011 1:06 PM EDT up reply actions

Lobotomies all around!!!!

If you don't eat your meat, you can't have any pudding! How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat?!

by ricksnats on Sep 28, 2011 1:39 PM EDT up reply actions

Orders from Rizzo, Whupass

Just making sure that the team’s first round draft pick next year is protected, as I noted in a comment in a thread the other day. :-)

by d_c_guy on Sep 28, 2011 12:46 PM EDT up reply actions

Yeah, I saw that: the old "Ve Vas just following orders!" argument.

Then again, perhaps Davey has taken to adding a little Copenhagen to his Redman pouch. Gives him visions.

Nah, it’s less complicated than that: He hates us, real simple.

"On my tombstone just write, 'The sorest loser that ever lived.'" - Earl Weaver

by Whupass on Sep 28, 2011 1:13 PM EDT up reply actions

Probably

He hates us, real simple

Occam’s Razor and all that …

by d_c_guy on Sep 28, 2011 2:23 PM EDT up reply actions

Raises Hand

MOAR SEVERINO!

by jeff550 on Sep 28, 2011 2:42 PM EDT up reply actions

I blame Rizzo

Johnson could not continue to run jokers like Bixler and Slaten (and all the others) out onto the field every day if Rizzo would just man up and send these guys packing. He pulled the trigger on Bruney reasonably quickly last year, and he gave Stairs a reasonable chance to do something worthwhile this year before he dumped him… but Slaten has demonstrated time and again all year long he’s not worthy of a spot in the bullpen, so why is he in still the bullpen? I mean, they’ve got so many guys out there now they have to sit in each other’s laps ferchrissakes. How is THAT a good thing?

Rob

-- In baseball we trust.

by RobBobS on Sep 28, 2011 1:17 PM EDT reply actions

The magic of the left-handed

If Bruney was a LHRP he might still be on the team. Finding an effective LOOGY in a division with Utley, Howard, Ibanez, McCann, Freeman, Heyward, (etc) is not a bad idea. If only the Nats could find one!

by d_c_guy on Sep 28, 2011 2:26 PM EDT up reply actions

I still thing Severino could be that man

or Gorzelanny, if Severino proves hes not ready in ST. I would rathe see Cory VanAllen out there than Doug S*****, just like I would rather see Carlos Alvarez than Brian Bixler

MOAR SEVERINO!

by jeff550 on Sep 28, 2011 2:45 PM EDT up reply actions

It can't be Gorzo

He just takes too long to warm up. I’m thinking he’s the left-handed long guy, IFF he doesn’t get an offer to start elsewhere and re-signs.

Brain: "Pinky, are you pondering what i'm pondering?"
Pinky: "Yes, ... wait, ... no, ... never mind"

by jbg2772 on Sep 28, 2011 2:47 PM EDT up reply actions

Regarding Rizzo's share in the blame, to a certain extent I agree

Davey Jones must play the hand he was dealt. However, that can’t explain away everything; for example last night: lefty Sean Burnett was available.

"On my tombstone just write, 'The sorest loser that ever lived.'" - Earl Weaver

by Whupass on Sep 28, 2011 3:26 PM EDT up reply actions

Everyone can get lit up now and then.

It’s happened to Clip & Storen, and several times to Burnett earlier in the season. Of course, these are guys who usually succeed in the tight spot (recently for Burnett), unlike Doug, who, doesn’t. That’s why I would not have minded (as much) seeing Sean or Severino blow the game—DJ would have been playing the “best” lefty to keep it tied, trying a new kid in a pressure spot, or at least not trotting out the left-handed white flag. I was thinking about trying to manage pitchers over extra innings as an excuse, but you can’t manage extras at all if you can’t get through the 9th.

"If you ain't got the pants, you ain't got a chance." --PerryMason (on the sartorial component of being a Real Ballplayer)

by Doghouse on Sep 28, 2011 3:37 PM EDT up reply actions