The formula, if you follow it, is a simple one. Citing the source of the original report, in this case Mark Segraves of NBC Washington, quickly mention that the Washington Nationals asked D.C. Mayor Vincent Gray for $300M to put a roof on Nationals Park and have it tax-payer funded. A roof? What? Those Nationals! Now, be sure to add that the ballpark, which opened in 2008 was built for something like $600M, $700M or somewhere around $693M or one of the other quoted figures you can find and, more importantly, mention that it was all publicly financed.
Now find and copy the embed code of that tweet from the Washington Post Nationals beat reporter. Simply quote it if you're not into embedding Tweets, it's fine. But the embedded tweets look good.
Source: Ted Lerner met with Mayor Gray with a proposal for a $300 million retractable roof over Nats Park. Gray was "shocked," said no.— Adam Kilgore (@AdamKilgoreWP) November 26, 2013
With that part out of the way you have a choice to make. Are you a serious news organization objectively reporting the news of the Nationals asking for a roof? Or are you looking for the edgy "We might say anything!" "Check out this random, somewhat obscure, but hip cultural reference"-vibe?
The objective folks will want to say that the Nationals had no comment on the reports and several other projects around town have recently been funded. Maybe suggest the Nationals fund it themselves.
The edgy folks can either insert a joke about the Montreal Expos and Olympic Stadium's roof: "Maybe they can fix the retractable roof and have it shipped to D.C.?" That was the best I could come up with, sorry. Or maybe go with something sort-of topical like a "Clown roof request, bro!" line. This also might be a good time to mention the lack of a resolution of the MASN TV situation gratuitously. Or you might rail against the public financing these projects over and over again. Or, conversely, argue that these projects make a huge difference in the community, you know, depending on which way you lean. Maybe point out that there are clearly ulterior motives. But close strong, use your best material last and then drop the mic. You're out! New roof! What!?
Links and lots of them starting... RIGHT NOW!!!:
[ed. note - "Though the above paragraphs are all 'above it all,' please do go ahead and read Federal Baseball's report on the Nationals' requesting $300M from D.C. taxpayers to put a roof on Nats Park. $300M? What? We'll put in a link below here all causal like..."]
• THE BIG STORY!!!:
• "The Washington Nationals want to put a roof over Nationals Park, and they want D.C. taxpayers to pick up the tab." - "Washington Nationals Want D.C. to Pay for $300 Million Ballpark Roof" - Mark Segraves, NBC4 Washington
• NATS BEAT:
• "The team has priced the roof at $300 million, the official said, but that number appears speculative." - "Nationals sought a retractable with taxpayer money. District mayor Vincent Gray said no. " - Mike DeBonis and James Wagner, The Washington Post
• "A story on NBCWashington.com posted Tuesday afternoon said the team has approached multiple District government officials, including Mayor Vincent Gray, about the idea for a proposed roof..." - "Nationals reportedly ask D.C. for $300 million roof" - Brian McNally, Washington Times
• "Six years after opening Nationals Park the Nats want to renovate." - "Nats propose plan for roof at Nationals Park" - Chase Hughes, Nats Insider
Bonus tidbit: One person who saw the Nats Park retractable roof plans called them, "butt ugly."— Adam Kilgore (@AdamKilgoreWP) November 26, 2013
• "Nationals Park was built in 2008 and cost a reported $693 million, which was paid for entirely through public funding." - "Nationals Pastime: Report: Nats hoping to install roof over Nationals Park" - Dan Kolko, MASNSports.com
• NON-ROOF-RELATED NATS BEAT:
• "When Rizzo has a Major Need, he usually fills it very quickly -- he knows what he wants and strikes first." - "Ask Boswell: Redskins, Nationals and Washington sports" - Thomas Boswell, The Washington Post
• "Whether or not the Nationals want to court Cano, there is a case to be made. There are plenty of valid arguments against pursuing Cano..." - "The case for the Nationals going after Robinson Cano" - Adam Kilgore, Washington Post
• Your Daily Message From The Dalai Lama On Twitter (@DalaiLama):
We often talk about moral values, justice and trust, but the important thing is to put them into effect in our everyday lives.— Dalai Lama (@DalaiLama) March 28, 2012
• NATIONAL(S) BEAT:
• "But do the Nats even need a dome, no matter who pays for it? D.C.'s climate is muggy during the summer and it's in the middle among U.S. cities when it comes to average rainfall. " - "Washington, D.C. refuses to pay $300 million to Nationals for ballpark roof" - David Brown, Big League Stew - Yahoo Sports
• "It's insane that they even asked. Washington just approved $50 million in public money to make improvements to the Verizon Center..." - "Reports: The Nationals Asked D.C. To Buy Them A Roof For $300 Million" - Barry Petchesky, Deadspin
• "Nationals Park opened in 2008 at a cost of just over $700 million, including transportation and infrastructure improvements." - "Report: Nats seeking $300 million in public funds to add roof to ballpark" - Mike Axisa, CBSSports.com
• "While the discussions are in very preliminary stages, diagrams of the proposed roof have been presented to the mayor’s office." - "Sources: Nationals Want Tax Dollars To Put Roof On Nats Park" - Mark Segraves, CBS DC
• "The area’s taxpayers already paid $700 million to build the park in 2006, so it’s no surprise that the mayor’s office seems reluctant to pay for a stadium." - "Washington Nationals want taxpayers to buy them a $300 million retractable roof" - Larry Brown, Larry Brown Sports
• "Zimmerman pulled a Zimmerman and saved his best ball for the second half of 2013, hitting 15 home runs post All-Star break." - "The Fantasy Top 5 for 2014: Washington Nationals" - Alex Kantecki, Fake Teams
• "In a conference call that just concluded, Lopez said he gave serious thought to accepting an offer from the Washington Nationals." - "SF Giants cut a reliever from last year’s team to clear roster spot for Lopez" - Henry Schulman, San Francisco Chronicle
• "Here is another trade rumor involving Ian Desmond, but I just wonder what the Nationals want in return. Let's discuss." - "MLB Rumors: Are the Nationals shopping Ian Desmond?" - Ray Guilfoyle, Fake Teams
• "Yes, the Nationals are asking for a $300 million roof. Hey, why not? It's always worked before." - "You like cookies. So do the Nationals." - Rob Neyer, Baseball Nation
• "Brian Goodwin spent his 2013 with the Harrisburg Senators, the same place he finished his 2012 season." - "Washington Nationals minor league spotlight: Brian Goodwin" - Chase Hughes, Nats Insider
• "RHP Taylor Jordan went from Class A to Double-A all the way to the majors because of his top of the line stuff and an innate ability to repeat his delivery." - "Washington Nationals - TeamReport" - GlobalPost
• "The Suns are a Class A affiliate of the Washington Nationals. In October, the team applied with Minor League Baseball to relocate from Hagerstown, Md." - "Financing found for new stadium" - Pamela Gould, The Free Lance-Star
• "Sammy Solis from the Washington Nationals won the most games, posting five victories. He also led the league with 29 strikeouts." - "Arizona Fall Leaguers call it a season" - Harrell Miller, Napa Valley Register
• NL EAST UPDATES:
• Braves: "The open-air stadium will be surrounded by the mixed-use development that will be aimed to make the area a year-round destination for baseball fans and consumers." - "Braves receive approval for new stadium in Cobb County" - Mark Bowman, braves.com: News
• Marlins: "On Tuesday the team announced the hiring of Mike Berger as vice president/assistant general manager, and Jeff McAvoy as director of pro scouting." - "Marlins add Mike Berger, Jeff McAvoy to front office" - Joe Frisaro, marlins.com: News
• Mets: "'So is it conceivable that Ruben Tejada or someone within in the organization is playing shortstop for us on Opening Day? I think the short answer is yes,' the Mets general manager continued." - "As free agent market thins, Ruben Tejada could be Mets Opening Day shortstop" - Kristie Ackert, NY Daily News
• Phillies: "Loyal Crashburn readers, you have my sincerest apologies for back-to-back articles on Ryan Howard." - "On Ryan Howard Benchmarks" - Bill Baer, Crashburn Alley
• MLB LINK:
We bought a Hall of Fame vote; want to help us fill out our ballot? http://t.co/L4MGjvpkzo— Deadspin (@Deadspin) November 26, 2013
• "Recently, as you may recall, we announced our plan to subvert the annual elections for baseball's Hall of Fame by buying votes from voters." -"Deadspin Buys Hall Of Fame Vote, Will Turn It Over To Deadspin Readers" - Tim Marchman, Deadspin
More from Federal Baseball:
- Nationals Reportedly Asked D.C. Mayor Vincent Gray About Putting Roof On Nationals Park
- Wire Taps: Nationals' Catcher Wilson Ramos In Venezuela + Nats' Backup Search?
- Nationals Trade Fernando Abad To Oakland For A's Outfield Prospect John Wooten
- The Starting Nine: Dan Haren Signs With Dodgers + Nationals' Pitching Search
- Nationals Rumors: Will The Nats Make A Run At The Rays' David Price?