Imagine a postseason without the Astros, without the Braves, even without the White Sox. Imagine a postseason where the Cleveland Indians are the "No. 1 seed," so to speak, and where---are you ready for this?---the New York Mets gained admittance. It's that kind of thing.
Truth be told, I don't know how singular the vision really is, but I'm doing it, and I'm the only me. So it's singular enough.
Anyway, well-adjusted fans the nation over witnessed three compelling adjusted playoff games today. Using an undisclosed methodology, I am now able to report the results:
New York Mets (NL Adjusted Wild Card) vs. St. Louis Cardinals (Adjusted NL Central), Game One
NYM 6 9 1
STL 4 7 2
WP: Glavine (1-0)
LP: Carpenter (0-1)
SV: Looper (1)
Recap: Tom Glavine pitched seven strong innings in his first playoff start as a member of a team other than the Atlanta Braves, and his New York teammates touched up scuffling St. Louis starter Chris Carpenter for five early runs. Mike Piazza, entering his last hurrah as a Met, homered in a three-run first inning. Cardinals' outfielder Larry Walker left the game with a nagging injury.
Series Status: New York leads, 1-0.
Boston Red Sox (AL Adjusted Wild Card) vs. Cleveland Indians (Adjusted AL Central), Game One
BOS 5 8 1
CLE 12 13 0
WP: Lee (1-0)
LP: Clement (0-1)
Recap: The Cleveland Indians, who lead the major leagues in third-order wins in 2005, kept on rolling. Travis Hafner and Aaron F. Boone paced a 13-hit attack, as Boston starter Matt Clement never settled in, allowing eight runs in four-plus innings. Ben Broussard's eighth inning grand slam sealed the victory for Cleveland. The big fly nullified a three-run homer by David Ortiz in the top half.
Series Status: Cleveland leads, 1-0.
Oakland Athletics (Adjusted AL West) vs. New York Yankees (Adjusted AL East), Game One
OAK 2 5 1
NYY 1 4 2
WP: Street (1-0)
LP: Rivera (0-1)
Recap: Jason Kendall's soft ground ball scooted just to the left of a diving Derek Jeter, capping an Oakland ninth inning rally marked by equal parts furious hitting by Oakland and sloppy defense by the Yankees' shortstop. Jeter's two errors placed runners in scoring position, and Kendall's resulting single made a winner of Huston Street, who twarted an eighth inning rally by striking out Jeter.
Series Status: Oakland leads, 1-0.
Tune in tomorrow for more exciting, adjusted action!