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BREAKING (ACTUAL) NEWS!

Well, it's from this afternoon, but this is a blog, for crying out loud. Let's call it breaking news!

Anyway, WJLA-TV reports that Mayor Baseball is taking his his shoes, glasses, and bowtie (so he has them) to a meeting with the MLB honchos tomorrow. Purpose? To "firm up" the old ballpark lease.

Easy, folks. I meant "old" as an expression indicating affection. I'm really talking about the new ballpark:


New ballpark would require a Hondo-sized foul tip to reach river

Williams hopes the aforementioned firming will occur this week, whereas he expects the new ownership group to be announced by Thanksgiving---demonstrating, perhaps, that Bob DuPuy has retained at least some semblance of flexibility, in spite of his seemingly craven soul.

I'll confess: something's coming over me tonight. Maybe it's the possibility that matched sets of bells and whistles will not appear at the new park, or maybe it's the chance that the feds will make the District pay for a "small parcel" (appraised value: $11 million) at the stadium site, or maybe I'm just itching to play the part of fiduciary. Whatever it is, friends, I think we've got a bit of an obligation here.

This park will be expensive. Now, I know that by now I've dissolved my general opposition to publicly-funded stadia in a dazzling display of ethical relativism and situational analysis; still, this is going to be one spicy meatball. We really should do our part.

How's this? Each of us fronts $100 per season toward the cost of the park. That's not a lot of money, right? (We all clearly love baseball.) Strength in numbers, people. Two point seven million Nataholics attended RFK this past season. That's $270 million right there! Give us two or three years, and we can pay for the whole monstrosity.

Now, I know what you're saying: as Richard Marx might say, we've got a lot of repeat offenders here. People purchased twenty- and forty-game plans; there's even some alleged Marlins' fan that frequents the team board who purchased a full season's pass. That's commitment. I even went to a few games.

So, no, I'm not suggesting that one pays for every game he or she attended. That's what brothers and sisters and business associates are for. Naturally, those with large families and eight bosses would have an advantage. But them's the breaks . . .

At any rate, that's the idea. I'll handle this first year's collection. Just send me the checks, and I'll take care of the rest.

Really!

Hat-tip to Maury "B-O-O-N-D-O-G-G-L-E" Brown over at Baseball Primer