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PROGNATSTICATIONS: Alfonso Soriano


-What do you want?
-I want them to stop looking to me for answers,
begging me to speak again, consider it again,
be a leader. I want them to start thinking
about me. I want my second base.
-I mean, what do you WANT?
-Oh. Dog and a beer. (Thanks, FoxSports.com)

You may have noticed that these Prognatstications have gotten a little dull. The request to provide a projection for Damiam Jackson, appropriately enough, was met with the comment "If I have to . . . " Remember the Seinfeld episode---one of the only good ones from the final season---where Kramer recreates the set of the old Merv Griffin Show and, in his increasingly para-social ways, interacts with Jerry, Elaine, and George as if there are guests on a talk show? Around the time of the second act break, Kramer and Newman (the sidekick, obviously) recognize that the format has gone dry and the "show" has bottomed out. So they implement a new format: exotic animals-'n-confrontations. Hilarity ensues.

Well, here's our format change. Have at it, fellas!

As for stats . . . you guys know Soriano's stats backwards and forwards by now. For reference, here's a sort of makeshift projection: 604 AB; .252/.292/.462; 24 HR, 80 RBI, 29 SB. Will he beat that? Who knows; "hopefully," I'm sure we all think deep down.

My prediction will be in the comments, as usual.

* * *

But while I'm here, I might as well direct your attention to this article---this long, long, long, long article of Federal Baseball-approved length---by Dave Sheinin of the Post.

Capitol Punishment has already quoted the most relevant excerpts, so I won't do so here; just go to Chris Needham's post for the specific language. Based on this lengthy narrative---which quotes Jim Bowden liberally, relies on some "deep background" type of sources with respect to Frank Robinson, and seems to interject Sheinin's own perceptions of the situation---it seems apparent to me that the trade for Soriano was equal parts:

  1. infatuation with Soriano's batting reputation;
  2. Bowden's hubris; and
  3. as I've suspected before, public relations swagger.
I'll get into this tomorrow with an old school Multimedia Podcast Pimp(tm), but if forced to give a prediction how all of this works out, I say Soriano in fact grudgingly accepts left field. As Darth Vader once advised, it is the only way.