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If I ain't startin', I ain't departin'

Don't you long for the days when selfish baseball threats were quirky and quotable? What's Alfonso Soriano's trademark line? If I ain't playin' the keystone, I'll see how much insubordination Bodes'll condone?

Don't have the same ring to it.

Ultimately, I believe this is a story of lust. If you have read all the articles about Soriano since December, you will know that Jim Bowden greatly admired Soriano's skill, longed to acquire him, loved to watch him play. As of last night, we now know---as if we didn't before---that Bowden knew the risks associated with dealing for Soriano; yet, he could not halt his passion. He had to trade for Soriano, had to taste the sweetness of his name next to Soriano's, had to watch this uber-toolsy specimen up-close, one hundred and sixty two times a year. It was a compulsion. It was irresistible. It was love. It was lust.

And it would appear to have gone terribly wrong.

Indeed, the story is not too different than another familiar tale of lust (Cliff Notes version):

Although David distinguished himself as a monarch who was faithful to God and as a ruler who administered justice impartially, he did not escape the demoralizing influences of his great prosperity and unrestricted power. He had numerous wives and lovers, and because his passion for Bathsheba was so great, he sent her husband, Uriah, to the front lines, thereby ensuring his death. Afterward, David married Bathsheba, but God was so displeased with David's transgression that he caused the son of David and Bathsheba to die.

Uriah, thy name is Brad Wilkerson. We shall miss you, you damaged platoon outfielder. Wilkerson may not be sexy, as the saying goes, but at least he's compliant.

* * *

And yet, despite it all, Bowden may still be able to backstab his lover. As Capitol Punishment, Beltway Boys, and Nats Triple Play explore, getting Soriano on the disqualified list may yet freeze Soriano's salary and, perhaps more importantly, his service time---thus inhibiting Soriano's ability to hit the free agent market next winter, which we've been led to believe undergirds this entire saga.

My immediate response (i.e., WAG without any kind of prep or analysis): I think Bowden is right about the effect of being put on the disqualified list.

My slightly-less-immediate response: I wonder how easy it is to get on this disqualified list.

My best guess: Soriano relents and Bowden begins to find out his Bathsheba isn't all that hot, anyway.