There's a party line and the neighbor's got an itchy trigger finger?

I confess; tonight, I'm looking for some trouble.

Soriano played today---in left field, at that---and everyone, including Bodes, is happy. Well, the rest of us are half-happy. Because, you know, it's over. The resolution reminds me of a conversation I once overheard:

Indeed it is . . .

. . . or is it?

I mean, is Soriano a left fielder, or is he the left fielder for now? I shouldn't be asking this question tonight, but let's face it---somebody somewhere on another blog has probably already asked it, so I might as well join the fun. Jose Vidro attests that his bum knee, which has been bothering him seemingly since the days of the original Harold Ickes, is perfect. To borrow a wayback DuPuy witticism, the notion strikes me as patent nonsense. I don't know Vidro, and I don't know sports medicine, but I'd be willing to wager a cache of skunky domestic beer that the only sense Vidro's knee is "perfect" is in the sense that your garden variety Lifetime heroine's life is "perfect" thirty-seven seconds past the opening credits: things seem quaint and borderline utopian, but you know disaster is one nasty-stereotypical-pigheaded man away.

Well, I wouldn't know. Just from flipping channels . . . nevermind.

Let's say it's May 22, and this little blurb runs across the wire:

Two-part question:

1. Who does Jim Bowden think [x] is?
   
2. Who does Alfonso Soriano think [x] is?

It is possible, you see, that we'll hit a longer and more contentious impasse if Vidro misses any kind of extended action this season. Things have resolved themselves in a mostly amicable manner today, because Soriano realizes there is no alternative. Vidro is healthy and, while the franchise's longest tenured player sounds confused and vaguely hurt about the situation, Soriano has been careful not to show Vidro disrespect. But if Vidro is not healthy, what does the team do?

• It can't move Soriano from left, can it?
  
• But it not, why wouldn't it? Isn't he a better player than Marlon Anderson or Damian Jackson, or whoever else would slide over into a starting role?
  
• And wouldn't Soriano, for all his defensive shortcomings at second, have a valid claim to make on that point?
  
• And what if the team did slide Soriano over to second in Vidro's absence? What if Soriano burns it up while Vidro is hurt---and gets at least passable marks at second, to boot?
  
• When Vidro returns to health, what then? How would you convince Soriano to jump back to left, knowing what happened this first time?

Eh, I know. That's all hypothetical (though not unrealistic), and I observed that Soriano changed his tone yesterday when he started losing the battle, presaging his return today.

But, if a Vidro injury changes the dynamic, the potential exists for a second round of talk radio dynamite.

Update [2006-3-22 11:59 by Basil]: Most Nats blogs readers know of reader/commenter Bote Man. He set up a Soriano Watch blog and, even cooler, "audio blogged" today's Soriano opener. You ever flip around sports night and hear something like, "Live from Bank One Ballpark, this is Johnny Villareal for ESPN Radio"? (That's the only name of a stringer that I can recall.) Well, here's Bote Man from . . . somewhere in Florida. Pretty good!