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Via Certified Mail

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Dear "Pitching, Pitching, Pitching":

On behalf of the Screening and Selection Committee, it is my pleasure to inform you that you have been selected for publication in the 2006 edition of Who's Who Among America's Meaningless Catchphrases.

We have long appreciated your elevation of style and empty promises over substance and execution. You are perfect for our registry, and it gives us great joy to include you.

Additionally, I extend an invitation to join us for our Honorees' Banquet, July 25, at the San Diego Airport Hilton. Among the other honorees will be "Zoom! Zoom!" and, for lifetime achievement, "Where's the Beef?".

The keynote speaker will be the always informative and entertaining "It's All About the O."

Again, we congratulate you, and wish you many more years of meaningless inanity.

/s/

"I'm Lovin' It," Committee Chair