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(Dramatization; events may not have occurred.)


[Thanks, WaPo]

Hola, Bodes.

Whassup, dawg?

Uh, nada mucho.

Say, do you like Phoenix?

Um, asi asi.

Is that good?

Sure.

Tubular.

¿Por que?

We just swapped you out for some farm boy grindage, dawg!

¿Que?

You were traded, man!

Oh.

You didn't want to be traded, dawg?

Nah. Nah. It's good. Esta bien.

We're cool?

Yeah. Yeah.

You sure?

Si, si.

'Cause you're my dawg, 'cuz.

Bueno.

You know that, right? That you're my dawg?

Si, si.

And I'm your dawg, right?

¿Que?

You think I'm cool, right?

Uh---

I mean, you're down. Right?

---okay.

When you think of 'Jimbo,' the 'Bodes' Man, you think good things, right?

Eh?

Because I'm a good guy, right?

Si, si.

But bad, too?

Eh?

'Cause I want to be bad, you know?

Eh?

Bad as in good.

Oh. Si.

Like, 'There goes that Bodes. He's a bad man.'

Oh. Si, si.

'Cause I'm bad to the bone.

Estas loco, dude.

But I'm smart, too. People think I'm smart, right?

Oh. Si.

And I'm cool, too?

Eh . . . Si, si.

I'm like a freakin' whirlwind, man!

. . .

YEEARGGGG! I'm a bad pendejo, dude!

Si. Si, Jim.

Great! I feel much better. Thanks for talking, dawg!

Okay . . . See ya, Jimbo.