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A Brief History Of My Thoughts On The Matter Of Pete Rose

Dawn of Basil - 1988: Rose seems cool. He plays hard, dives around everywhere, looks a little crusty and the haircut stinks, but whatever. The old man likes him. I like him too.

Summer of '88: Thirty games? For shoving an ump? Umps are stupid and evil. Who is the NL president, Danny Davis?

Summer of '89: So what if Rose bet on some games? Jimmy the Greek bet on some games too, and he wasn't such a bad . . . oh. Anyway, what's the big deal? It's not like Rose killed anyone.

September 1, 1989: Hmmm, maybe Rose killed someone.

June 1990: Signed by a friend in my eighth grade yearbook:

"I bet you I never bet."

/s/
Pete Rose

July 1990: That's what prison looks like? Doesn't seem too bad.

February 1991: No Hall of Fame too? Seems a bit much.

Sometime in 1992 or 1993: Bought an old copy of The Baseball Book by Bill James. He's got a long chapter in there about the Dowd Report, rips it to shreds. Examines all the evidence really closely. With swears!

1992-96: Maybe Rose got railroaded. Selig sucks, and even though he had nothing to do with it, can we just pin it on him?

Sometime around 1996: The internet's great and all, and . . . oh, crap. I just read this, and you know what? James was wrong. Rose looks pretty guilty after all.

Years after that: Yep. Guilty, guilty, guilty.

The Rise of National Sports Talk Radio: Damn, this is boring. Shut these people up! Hell, let him in the Hall of Fame if you have to. Just stop the damn whining by these loser True Believers about their precious little scrappy Pete Rose.

October 1999: Pete Rose, Jim Gray . . . Pete Rose, Jim Gray. I give up. Which one should I dislike? Because I totally dislike them both.

2002: James still thinks Rose didn't do it, huh? Wow. 'Cause this guy totally gave him an analytical colonoscopy.

August 12, 2003: Hey, that's interesting . . . oh, nevermind.

January 2004: Here comes another Rose interview in which he . . . admits betting on baseball? Must have a book coming out. Yep.

2004-06: Blah blah blah.

Today: Didn't we know this already?

"I bet on my team to win every night because I love my team, I believe in my team," Rose said. "I did everything in my power every night to win that game."

I'd sooner put Milo Hamilton in the Hall of Fame. Well, take Milo out, then put him back in. I think that much of Pete Rose.