FanPost

Do you suffer from P.A.D.S.?

Do you find yourself completely unable to score more than once a week? Do you experience frequent LOB and RISP-failure heartburn? If so, you may be a P.A.D.S. sufferer. P.A.D.S. is a treatable disorder characterized by excessive bunting, improperly aggressive baserunning, and a nauseated fan base. Left untreated, PADS can lead to painful losses, sudden drops in standings, and comatose sideline reporting.

But now you can rid yourself of these embarrassing statistical blemishes and unsightly box scores. Now there’s Offenza. Offenza is a safe, legal, over-the counter cure for bad offense. It’s a combination of power and patience that allows your team to score when you need it most.

Offenza is an effective treatment for ineffectual offenses, but it will not cure bad management. Frequent bullpen meltdowns are a serious baseball condition and require immediate roster attention. Use Offenza only as directed, and see your doctor if you have top quality players languishing in Low-A for more than four weeks.

If you or a loved one suffers from the symptoms of PADS, please, see a doctor, and ask about Offenza.

All FanPosts on FBB consist of content created by site users without editorial oversight by Federal Baseball, and do not necessarily represent the views of the FBB editorial staff.