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Shark Bite: [CHOMP!] R U DOIN IT RONG?

We need to give the Nats our most vehement, effective support in this critical playoff game. If you want Bernadina to CHOMP up fly balls and CHOMP opposing pitchers for walks and dingerz, you better do the Shark Bite right!


Roger "the Shark" Bernadina is one of the last of les vrai Expos. We have all been waiting for him to claim a regular role on the Nationals, and he's finally done it this year, emerging as a reliable pinch-hitter and defensive specialist. Even better, the fans and the dugout have both appreciated the power of the SHARK BITE, a gesture that you, the fan, can make to invoke or pay homage to the power of The Shark (on both offense and defense). It's easy enough to do: you stretch your arms out together in front of you, one above the other, and open and close them like big shark jaws gobbling up a fly ball in the gap or tearing a relief pitcher to shreds. However, it is terribly important to do it right.

Shark jaws need pointy teeth to grip hard-hit line drives or to rend the flesh of opposing pitchers. Do you think you can do it this way?


This is not the way to do it! Where are the teeth? How are you going to bite down on and haul a ball back over the wall to steal a homer with no teeth? No pitcher is going to be afraid of being gummed to death at the plate in a pinch hit appearance!

If you're going to do the Shark Bite (and you should), do it right! Bring lots of pointy teeth that no fly ball can escape and that any late-inning reliever will fear being chewed by:


That's how you do it! CHOMP!! The next time you want to encourage/congratulate the Shark, do so appropriately, respectfully, and toothily.