- Roark: Tanner "As in, 'rowboat'" Roark (+46.5%) seemingly spends the entire game with a runner in scoring position, but somehow gets through 7 without allowing a run on 7 Ks and a walk, exiting in line for a win (even though pitcher wins are dumb). At the plate, he manages to work two walks!
- LOBster Sunday: Bryce "Ohfer" Harper (-6.6%) flies out to the wall in center to strand the bases loaded in the 5th (-9.6%), missing a go-ahead grand slam by a few feet.
- Unlikely doesn't mean unhelpful: Jose "When did Gio become right-handed?" Lobaton (+14.7%) makes Dusty point to his head by smacking a solo shot the other way to break a scoreless tie on the first pitch of the 7th (+19.4%). He also throws out a runner trying to steal second in the first.
- Total stat-padder: Clint "Low Leverage" Robinson (+17.7%) junk-times a two-run dinger with two outs in the ayeth (+19.9%).
- I don't care what the WPA hamsters say, this should be a meltdown: Blake "There goes the streak" Treinen (-5.9%) gets two outs in the ayeth but lets in a run and exits with two on, juuuuuuust missing a metldown.
- Thanks for the extra grey hair, dude: Shawn "I owe my position to Doghouse's lobbying (not an actual quote)" Kelley (+13.5%) gets a K to defuse Treinen's jam in the aeyth. In the 9th he goes strikeout, strikeout, dinger, triple (Werth lost it in the sun), popup to earn a shutdown.
Tonight's WPA brought to you by how could these teenagers be so humorless even if they are German when the band is clearly two puffs away from collapsing in hysterical laughter: