- I don't know, he's not a winner... (pitcher wins are dumb): Lucas "I won't be 'other Gio' for long" Giolito (+21.3%) throws four scoreless, surrendering a single hit and two walks with a strikeout before the monsoon arrives.
- Freight train: Anthony "Extra Bases" Rendon (+14.7%) triples in the eventual winning run with two outs in the second, as Wilson "The inevitable" Ramos (+3.3%) scores all the way from first just ahead of the throw (+12.8%).
- Junk-timer: Bryce "Bam Bam" Harper (+11.4%) tacks on with a meaningless two-run bomb off the back of the home bullpen to pad his stats with one out in the 5th (+16.7%).
- The whirling fireman: Oliver "That's another fine mess you've gotten us out of" Perez (+16.6%) shows that pitching well is the best revenge, coming in to a base-loaded, one-out jam in the sixth and stranding all three runners to earn a shutdown.
This morning's WPA brought to you by vintage debauchery (part two of of an ongoing series):