You may have heard, but Adam Eaton tore his ACL on April 28th against the New York Mets. It was a crushing (okay, maybe not crushing, but still pretty bad) blow for the Washington Nationals, who lost a leadoff man they paid dearly for and the spark plug to one of the league’s best offenses.

Yesterday, Eaton underwent surgery to repair that ACL. He’ll be out for 6-9 months, but should return in time for Opening Day 2018.

“We’re anticipating that it should be an ordinary rehab,” Nats GM Mike Rizzo said, as quoted by Jorge Castillo of the Washington Post.

However, until Eaton can walk around again, or even use crutches, how will he get from place to place? Simple: he’ll use a scooter-thingy.

Eaton’s ‘SwagATron,’ as he calls it, will help him be an active member of the Nats clubhouse and somehow make him shorter than he already was before (Eaton stands tall at a mighty 5’8”). But when he’s actually in the clubhouse and sitting in a chair instead of riding the SwagATron, where will he put the SwagATron?

Simple:

Well done, Nats. Adam? Never change, okay? Never change.

UPDATE!!!!

WHO DID THIS? STEP FORWARD, ANONYMOUS NATIONALS HERO, AND RECEIVE OUR INFINITE GRATITUDE!